2009 XMAS

I wonder if this will pass, if sadness was measured in gallons for today i could fill football stadiums. I am not sure where it stems from but i know it runs deep to my soul. Do i ache from the holidays and the misconstrued attempts by the retail organizations to pushing me to share my love by putting myself in debt or could it be the realization and verbal confirmation by my father that there was not one childhood memory of a holiday that joy or happiness was involved. Do i ache for myself and my soul or do i ache for all those that sit back and realize that they too are sad. Does all this holiday stuff evoke emotions of what never was for most? Is the commercialism a fair representation of days gonna by, or does it stir that anger and sadness of not having the "traditional joy" of family days gone by.